The 5 Most Surprising Statistics This Season For The Colorado Avalanche

It is no secret that the Avs are off to a rough start. Constantly hovering around 26^th to, you know, dead last, has its perks however. These perks are looking at the player and team statistics and finding things that make you just shake your head. Well, we have saved you the grief of perusing through the statistics, and we have compiled the top 5 most surprising statistics so far this year on the Avs.

#5: Jack Skille – Skille’s start to the season, where he was the only one really trying his hardest, and he looked like he could be a secret offensive gem. But the offense stopped after the first few games. The statistical surprise: 21GP, 2G, 1A, 3PTS. Unfortunately he has also seen his playing time cut down, spending time on the 4^th line with Street, Everberg, and whoever else squeaks in the lineup.

#4: Face-off winning percentage. Remember when the Avs biggest problem was having too many top tier centers? MacKinnon, Duchene, O’Reilly, Stastny, and Hishon. Yes Hishon. He meant something once. Now 1 of those guys is in the minors and 2 are traded away. Our center depth is still decent. Duchene, Soderberg, MacKinnon, Grigorenko. But it isn’t helping. The Avs currently sit 29^th in the league (That’s second last for the late people reading) at 48.3 percent. It doesn’t just stop there. They are 28^th overall in even strength FOW percentage, and 1^st overall in faceoffs LOST while on the powerplay.

#3: Lack of offense from Tanguay. Yes he is injured now but let’s take a look at the 14 games he played: 2G, 4A. This is pretty shocking coming from the guy who scored 22 goals last year and was 3^rd on the team in points. Not to mention he was playing with the likes of Iginla, Landeskog, Duchene, and pretty much everyone with offensive talent. Hopefully he comes back rejuvenated and ready to start helping the team.

#2: Nathan MacKinnon’s 9 goals. Everybody expected MacKinnon to bounce back from his offensively disappointing season last year but this is great! MacKinnon has 9 goals just a quarter of the way through the year, which is just 5 away from his 14 tallies of last year. He is on pace for about 32 goals this year and he is really showing no signs of slowing down.

#1: Lack of scoring on defense. EJ can’t do it all. But he is. The other 8(!!!!) defensemen who have suited up for the Avs this year have combined for a putrid 3 goals. In a combined 105 games. Hm, seems like we’ve been down this roadbefore.

Honourable mentions: 8 wins in 21 games for the team, Duchene playing crazy right now, Varlamov’s less than stellar 3.05GAA and .894 sv%.

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Patent Pending: They Do This So Much, They Might As Well Own Them

New All-Star Game Format: Who Makes it For The Avs? Other Teams?

Satirical eBay Listing Trolls Avs, Varlamov Over Game 1 Loss

Patent Pending: They Do This So Much, They Might As Well Own Them

We all know patents. If something is good enough, or if it your own idea or concept and everyone else is starting to get on the bandwagon, you slap your name on it, because by golly, you earned it. Well the same should be said for some things in hockey. Gretzky patented the behind the net deke and pass. Orr patented the diving through the air Stanley Cup goal. No one else has done it since. Not because they didn’t want to, but because they don’t want to pay the royalties. By the way, we misspelled Gretzky that first time and the spelling correction suggestion was Trotsky. Can we get a Canadian computer here? Anyways: Gordie Howe patented the elbowing penalty AND the Gordie Howe hat trick (Even though he only ever had 3 in his career) and Matt Cooke patented the phrase “I can change”. Given the less than spectacular start by the Avs, here are some of the things they do in any given hockey game that they need to get their name on…quick!

Patent Pending: The Logo Shot

You’ve all seen this. Whether it’s streaking down the wing, a cross ice pass, breakaway, or a point shot on a powerplay, the Avs always manage to hit the logo of whatever goalie is in net. Sometimes they miss, and the people in the hockey world call those “goals”. The Logo Shot is an epidemic among the Avs players so why not take official credit? We hear the Avs shooter tutor is just a plastic sheet over the open net with a small circular hole cut out of the middle. They score a lot of goals in practice.

Patent Pending: The Totally Inappropriate, Ill Timed, Unnecessary, Drop Pass

The name needs work, but that is what the marketing team is for. We’ve all seen this too. Whether it’s an own zone breakout, neutral zone invasion, powerplay zone entry, of in the slot scoring chance, the Avs love to drop the puck back to the guy behind them. We credit the Mighty Ducks movies for making this look cool. Damn you Emilio Estivez for the Flying V!

Patent Pending: The Own Zone Breakout Problems

3 guys can make a pass out of their own zone. Barrie, Beauchemin, Johnson. 4 guys cant. Gormley, Guenin, Holden, Stuart. And the majority of the time they’re all just so soft on their end of the blueline that it never even materializes. If anyone knows a wizard, can they get him to transform the Avs into 14 year old teenagers who eat fast food? They seem to have no problems with breakouts.

Patent Pending: The Powerplay Dump-In

Why dump it in to the waiting, ready, defender who is just going to clear it out? Carry it in!

Patent Pending: The Pulled Goalie Dump-In

See above scenario and change the situation to when the Avs pull their goalie for an extra attacker.

Patent Pending: The “Walk To The Penalty Box” Silence

Around the league, if penalties are taken, a lot of the time players will have a few word with the referees, generally disagreeing with the call, and voice this disagreement in a variety of terms and ways. Not the Avs. Save for the Capitals game, almost all of the Avs penalties have been stupid and blatant, which translates to a quiet, shameful waltz to the sin bin.

Patent Pending: Over Analyzing the “Good Things” they’ve done in a game.

The Avs could lose 16-2, go 2-4 on the powerplay and allow 0 PP goals in 5 chances. The reaction from players and coach: Well we thought our powerplay was great for us tonight and our penalty killing was superb. We need to work on winning some more 5-5 battles but we didn’t give up when it started to get bad. This means we have a good game and we don’t need a morning skate or hard practice. Let’s go for pizza and ice cream guys, good job!” You all know this isn’t an exaggeration. 

New All-Star Game Format: Who Makes it For The Avs? Other Teams?

The NHL All-Star game format changed for this year, as we are sure most of you know, perhaps for the better; perhaps the worse. Only time will tell. But instead we’re going to blindly speculate the 5 best and 5 worst things, potentially, about the all-star game even though we don’t know teams, it has never happened before, this is brand new, and we complained and hated the last All-Star games. Just kidding, those articles are pointless and every credited NHL writing team has done it because apparently there is nothing to write about anymore except speculation. Journalism is apparently dead.

So let’s talk about what we do know: a quick reminder about the important changes. 3 on 3; 4 teams, 1 from each conference; every team must be represented; 11 players per team, 6 forwards, 3 d-men, 2 goalies; the fans choose 1 player for each team, the NHL choses the other 10. That is all you need to know for the purpose of this post.

So, every team must be represented, and with 11 players per conference that doesn’t leave a lot of room for everyone that deserves to play. Add in the fact that the Central Division has some of the most electric and entertaining big name players in league, and we have a tough situation. So what does this mean for the Avs?

The player chosen by the fans will most likely be a Blackhawk, and if it isn’t it most likely won’t be a Colorado player. Uh oh, we’re speculating. Let’s look at the no brainers, sans Avs.

The probable players:

Toews - CHI

Kane - CHI

Tarasenko - STL

Seguin - DAL

Benn – DAL

Filip Forsberg – NSH

Parise – MIN

Wheeler - WPG

Shea Weber – NSH

Klingberg – DAL

Suter – MIN

Keith – CHI

Rinne – NSH

Dubnyk – MIN

Allen – STL

Here are the shoe ins for the ASG excluding Avs players. But wait. This is already way over the roster size. So let’s look at our options. Wheeler has to stay because he is Winnipeg’s only representative. Keith on defense probably won’t make it. All of the other players really deserve to be there, but we still need room for at least one Colorado player. Will the Avs be the only other team to only have 1 representative? 

You can count out a goalie spot. Berra will never make it and unless Varlamov plays out of his mind and racks up wins, he’s out. On defense, has Barrie played well enough to oust any of the 3 d-men left up there? No. Has Johnson? Not yet. So because of the competition, you can count out a defensive representative. But it gets very interesting at forward. As we see it right now, the Avs have only 2 worthy representatives. Iginla unfortunately doesn’t make the cut, and neither does Landeskog. But both MacKinnon and Duchene deserve to be there, and with Wheeler staying put, who gets ousted? If the Wild send Dubnyk and/or Suter, look for Parise to sit out, which is a crime even though we hate him. All of us. But there are still 6 forwards on that list so someone has to go home. You simply cannot deny the dynamic Stars duo, and Kane/Toews are a given. If Jake Allen isn’t selected as a goalie, Tarasenko has to attend, and if he is, maybe Forsberg sits out. This is all assuming (that thing we said we hated at the beginning of the post) that only 1 Avalanche player makes it, which will probably be the case given the competition. So who makes the team? We say MacKinnon should represent the Avs over Duchene based purely on the fact that he knows Sidney Crosby and that’s been publicized. And because he has had a better, more consistent year.

It is confusing trying to figure out who plays and who doesn’t, and the poor guys who have to pick the teams are going to lose out with the fans no matter what. Think of how many players on these teams that are left off the list: Steen, Seabrook, Crawford, Neal, Spezza, Shattenkirk, Josi, Byfuglien, Pietrangelo, Little, Sharp, and so on.

Of course, a player could get hurt, traded, or run into another obstacle that stops them from attending. A player could go ice cold, and another player could heat up. If John Klingberg cools off do we see Erik Johnson?

If you think this all means nothing because of the many variables, and this was a huge waste of time, you’re wrong. Because as it stands right now, the Avs are only getting representation by 1 player during the whole All-Star weekend. It just wouldn’t make any sense otherwise. So hopefully MacKinnon has a good time.

* Bonus Scenario: Avs freakishly run into injury problems: Duchene, Iginla, Tanguay, Varly, Landy, MacKinnon, EJ, Barrie, Soderberg, Beauchemin, all get hurt and the Avs send John Mitchell. Wouldn't that be something.

Our pick for the Central Division All-Star Team:

Forwards:

Benn – DAL

Seguin – DAL

Kane – CHI

Tarasenko – STL

MacKinnon – COL

Little – WPG

Defensemen:

Weber – NSH

Klingberg – DAL

Suter – MIN

Goalies:

Rinne – NSH

Allen – STL

Little finally gets the recognition he deserves, Dallas/Nashville sends 3, Toews doesn’t make it because he is streaky so far, and the Wild get 1 player. The only tossup is subbing Dubnyk for Allen.

Agree? Disagree?