You may remember our Name Game post from a few
seasons ago, and if you don’t, you can find it here. Well, it has been a few
seasons, many players have come and gone since then, so let’s do it all over
again.
Hockey players are celebrities, so for this rendition
we thought it wise to examine their lives if they were in a different field of
being “famous”.
On
TV and in the Movies
The Fresh Prince of Briere – Briere plays a
misjudged kid from Philadelphia looking to make fresh start in a new city.
Stuart Little – Orphaned from San Jose after the
emergence of Vlasic, this harrowing tale speaks of Stuart’s perseverance and
willingness to phase out completely in Denver.
Bernstein Berra – Reto Berra plays a huge mammoth of
an animal that can’t seem to do much of anything unless he gets a ton of help
and guidance from a much wiser Papa Bear (Patrick Roy).
John-Sons of Anarchy – Erik Johnson leads a rag tag,
rough and tough golf cart gang of 1st overall pick busts against
rivals gangs like the Bryz lats, Devil’s trib, and Cala-varlys.
Max and Redy – Talbot and Zach Redmond act in a kids
TV show raising awareness for sharp objects and trying to avoid getting them
logged in your upper thigh.
Keeping Up With The Pickardians – After a leaked
highlight video from Lake Erie, Pickard is thrown into stardom as a camera crew
follows him and his family around to various meal outings, workout sessions,
and practices, as well fully documenting the drama of who unscrewed his water
bottle lid at the morning skate.
Elliott Moose – An inspiring story about a young
NHLer and his zany adventures with friends.
The Landeskog Before Time – Gabe and his friends Dutchy,
Berra, and Street-tree, (Ducky, Sarah, Petree) engage in various shenanigans
around the Pepsi center.
In
Music:
Iggy Smalls – The Notorious IGG and his crew
Mac-Daddy Mackinnon and DJ Ago-Z bust some serious rhymes in his début album
“Ig Pappa”.
Freak On a Cliché – A song about the 4th
liner’s love of corn. (See what we did there?)
When You Hish upon a star – A touching ballad outlining
Hishon’s wish to stay healthy and make it big in the NHL.
Do You O’Reilly Want To Hurt Me? – A song sung by
Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy, outlining the painful contract dispute with Ryan
O’Reilly.
How Borda-low Can You Go? – Big Bad Bordy drops it
like its hawt in this new hit single/music video.
Hejda’s Gonna Hate – A chilling rap song that pumps
the ego of the Avs best defensive defenceman.
In
Other Fields:
The Ford Mustanguay – A car that, no matter how old it
gets, can go from 0-60 in 5 seconds.
Brew-chene’s – A do-it-yourself beer making
infomercial.
