A Numbers Game: #14

(This is a series that will run through the offseason that highlights the best, worst, and most irrelevant players to wear each number from 1 to whenever there isn’t enough players that wore a certain number to do this. So…here…we…go…)

Think about the number 14 for Avs players. Before you go down the list, name 5 players that have worn #14. Can you do it? If you cant even name 5 players that have worn #14 for the Avalanche then you aren’t alone. As it turns out, 9 players have worn #14 for the burgundy and blue, but most stays with the number have been brief. 14 is also the number of starts Roberto Luongo will get before the Canucks fans start crying out for Eddie Lack. Because the horrible Canucks team/lack of defense and a strong core is Luonogo’s fault. Enjoying those paychecks Mike Gillis?

The Best: None other than Ian Laperriere. The only time Lappy scored 20 goals in an NHL season was his first with the Avs (05/06) and it was also his highest point total. But it wasn’t his point production that made Avs fans fall in love with him. It was his style of play, his grit, his fighting, his pesty qualities, his heart, his passion. His scoring dipped severely over the next few seasons in Colorado, but he still played good solid games.

The Worst: Tom Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald was more a victim of circumstance. He was traded to the Avs to man the RW spot on the 3^rd and 4^th lines in the playoffs. He played 11 games, scored 3 points, and was relatively ineffective. Needless to say, he did not get resigned, but became a vital part of the newly founded Nashville Predators.

Mr. Irrelevant: Christian Matte only played 22 games for the Avs, and only 7 while wearing #14. A leading scorer in the IHL and AHL through the 90’s, Matte could not crack an NHL lineup, let alone the talented, deep Avs corp. 394 points in 390 AHL games isn’t bad though.

Other 14’s:

Landon Wilson

Dave Hannan

Theoren Fleury

Dave Reid

Tomas Fleischmann

David Van Der Gulik

Also in the Series:

1    2   3    4    5    6    7    8    9    10    11    12    13    14    15    16    17    18    19  

20   21    22    23    24    25    26    27    28    29    30    31    32    33    34    35    36    

37    38    39    40    41    42    43    44    45    46    47    48    49    50    51    52    53   

54    55    57   58    59    60    62    63    71    77    87    88    90    92    94    97

Semyon Varlamov: Not The Only NHL Player To Be Arrested

If you are just hearing for the first time that Semyon Varlamov has been charged with third degree assault, then you should probably crawl back under that rock you live in. it’s getting lonely. Over the past few years the Avs have kind of been a joke around the league hey weren’t good, their games were boring, and they often finished in the basement (Landeskog, Duchene, MacKinnon: Who’s laughing now?). So given the recent success of this team, and their great play, Avs haters are using this charge on our goalie to finally stick it to/beak Avs fans. Ridiculous isn’t it? Here’s a tip: If someone  says “Well at least my goalie wasn’t arrested” respond with something like…oh I don’t know…”16-5” and just walk away like cool action heroes after an explosion near the end of the movie.

But it is important to keep in mind that Varly isn’t the only NHL player to have a run in with the law. Here are a few more recent cases:

Dustin Byfuglien

Charge: Careless boating.

Yea that wouldn’t go over so well in jail. Guys would be exchanging stories…”I’m in here for armed robbery man”…”I’m in here for grand larceny dawg.”…..”I’m in here because I found my wife cheating. They still haven’t found the bodies”….”I’m in here because I had 2 beers before going on a boat ride, and the cop was probably a Canucks fan.” Not so tough. Byfuglien was sentenced to 2 years of weight watchers.

Ben Eager

Charge: Assault.

Eager was arrested with his brother after an incident at a pub during the lockout last year. I guess he wasn’t really that Eager to negotiate a new CBA. Eager was sentenced to another season with the Oilers.

Nikolai Zherdev

Charge: Having a last name that’s way too hard to spell when you’re driving a boat drunk.

Actual Charge: Intentional damage to property of others.

Flyers owner Ed Snider had Zherdev arrested for intentionally damaging the good name of the Philadelphia Flyers, using his on ice play as a weapon. Just kidding. He actually smashed his wife’s car after a night out together at a restaurant. He was also heard yelling threats at his wife. Thise threats were probably along the lines of “I’ll go back to the KHL! I’ll do it!” Zherdev was sentenced to go back to the KHL. But it’s ok, now  no one watches him play because it’s the KHL.

Sean Avery

Charge: Suspicion of battery on a police officer. Because Avery keeps going and going and going and going…

Avery is all to familiar with charging in his career. It was 1 a.m. and a noise complaint was filed. Apparently it was music, but no one would be surprised if Avery was really just standing in front of a mirror yelling about how great he was. So when the police officer came…we’d just like to take a second and give ourselves a pat on the back for that Energizer Bunny/battery joke….when the police came Avery shoved one of them and was arrested. I had no idea Wayne Gretzky became a cop. STILL no NHLer can touch him without feeling the heat. No word on if Dave Semenko was his partner. Avery was sentenced to a life in the fashion industry.

Brett Sutter

Charge: Suspicion of assault.

Sutter apparently punched a guy outside of a bar at night. No word on if that guy was Jay Feaster and Sutter was just really mad because he was drafted to the Flames. Sutter was sentenced to watch his dad win a Stanley Cup while he sat in the minors.

Mike Ribeiro

Charge: Always looking like an out of work porn star if he doesn’t shave for 2 days. Or maybe Public Intoxication.

Ribeiro was eating at a restaurant with his wife and another couple when his wife got into a verbal fight with another woman. Apparently she has as big a mouth as he does. Anyways, he had been drinking, because it’s a night out at a restaurant with friends, and an off duty cop took them all into custody. Ribeiro was never sentenced because a psychic came in and told the officers that in a few years time, the only team that would sign him would be the Coyotes. They figured that was punishment enough.

5 Trades Avs Management Would Have Made Under Sacco/Sherman

Patrick Roy is doing a great job as coach and Joe Sakic is doing a great job at whatever his job title is that no one remembers because he’s actually just the GM to everyone. It is hard to imagine where the Avs would be this year if they had kept Sherman as GM and Sacco as coach. We don’t mean it would be hard to gauge their place in thr standings. We mean they would be so horrible in their battles with Buffalo for last place that it would be really hard to think about.

The management moves have been great thu far with the new/old boys in town, so here is a list of trades we think the old brass would have made so far this year if they were still in power:

To Colorado

:

Any 2 4^th liners on the Sabres, and a 7^th rd draft pick

To Buffalo:

Tyson Barrie, a 1^st rd pick

Trade reasoning: “We have lot of D in our system and too much skill up front. So this trade will allow us to be less offensive on the backend, and scratch high energy scorers for non-physical, unskilled players.”

To Philadelphia:

Semyon Varlamov, another decent roster player

To Colorado:

Erik Gustaffson, Jay Rosehill

Trade Reasoning: We weren’t yet at the cap floor, and we need another defenseman that can’t kill penalties. Rosehill is a good acquisition because he can play a solid 5 minutes a night and end the game -2. But overall, we decided to regain the title of worst management from Ed Snider.

To Carolina:

Matt Duchene, Ryan Wilson, Jamie McGinn

To Colorado:

Rick DiPietro, Nathan Gerbe, 6^th rd pick

Trade Reasoning: “With the sudden absence of a starter, DiPietro is a proven injury case. We like those. Gerbe will make us smaller up front because size doesn’t help win hockey games at all. We also feel we have not given enough up yet for failed 1^st overall picks. Does anyone know the number of Patrik Stefan’s agent? We have about $4M we can spend to get to the cap floor.

To Montreal:

Colin Smith, Joey Hishon, Chris Bigras, Michael Sgarbossa

To Colorado: Davis Drewiske

Trade Reasoning: After trading emerging NHL scorer Michael Bournival to the Canadiens for Ryan O’Byrne, we felt as though we stil have not given up enough young talented prospects for useless slow D that will plague our blueline for years.

To Calgary:

Ryan O’Reilly

To Colorado:

David Jones, Shane O’Brien, TJ Galiardi

Trade Reasoning: We were trying to think of a few former Avs to bring back to club, either in coaching, management, or players. And this is what we came up! Vegas baby.