The Jobs of Our Avs if They Didn't Get Into Hockey

Do you ever wonder what NHL players would be doing with their lives if they never got into hockey? We did. And here is what we came up with:

Brad Stuart: Fry cook at McDonalds. Based on his ability to turn pucks over on the ice, he would be a shoe in for turning over those “all beef” patties at the golden arches.

Matt Duchene: Country music fan groupie. Can they get paid for this? Well, even if they can’t, Duchene would be so good at it they would have to pay him.

Marc-Andre Cliché: An extra in any TV show or movie he can find a role in. Because he never really contributes to the big picture, he is just sort of there.

Nate Guenin: Assassin. He has already killed his career, so he might as well move on to bigger things.

Ryan O’Reilly: Skyscraper window cleaner. Because that’s the only way he’ll get as high as he thinks of himself. Or: Oil Tycoon. Because he’s all about the money and doesn’t care how much it hurts the environment around him.

Jarome Iginla: Stay at home dad. If you can’t see that then you’re dead inside.

Gabriel Landeskog: Underwear model. We hope.

Cody McLeod: Boxer. Not a good one. The one future stars fight to boost their confidence early.

John Mitchell: Cody McLeod’s punching bag. Because he can take a hit from pretty much anything, anywhere.

Erik Johnson: Olympic medalist in another sport. Just to show the US that he deserved to be on the 2014 team more than Justin Faulk and Brooks Orpik.

Alex Tanguay: Human cannon ball at a circus. Because that’s the only way we’ll get him to shoot.

Ryan Wilson: The part of the car that connects the axle to the wheel. Then breaks. Then gets fixed. Then breaks again. Then gets fixed. Then breaks.

Reto Berra: Cheese taster. Favorite kind: Swiss. Get it? Because he is from Switzerland and lets in a lot of goals? Swiss cheese? It has holes in it. It is part of the process of making it. Air bubbles get in there and yea. So he has lots of holes when he plays in net. For pucks to get through. Remember that 6-5 loss to Winnipeg? Brutal.

Semyon Varamov: Bond villain.

Nathan MacKinnon: The guy who follows what Sidney Crosby did if HE never got into hockey.

Nick Holden:  Joke writer at the NHL Awards. Because he is already so good at making people groan in agony, burry their head in their hands, and wish they didn’t see what they just saw.

Danny Briere: Short-Round’s stunt double in the next Indiana Jones movie.

Tyson Barrie: Head of the Department of Player Safety. Because someone has to get this stuff right every once in a while.

Patrick Bordeleau: The boxer that beats Cody McLeod on his way to the heavyweight championship.

Freddie Hamilton: Psychologist specializing in patients who have names reserved for 5 year old. He has experience in dealing with this. His first patient: his brother Dougie.