Our Exclusive Interview With Greg Zanon

As you know, Greg Zanon is in the process of being bought out. Or, depending when you’re reading this, he already has been. Well, as was the case with Ryan O’Byrne, we had the privilege of sitting him down for an interview before his departure:

Us (AU): Hey Greg, welcome to the set. So it looks like your time in Colorado is done. How do you think the free agent market will be for you?

Zanon: Thanks guys good to be here. You know, I’m not too worried about finding a job in the NHL. I don’t think it’ll take too long.

AU: That’s optimistic. Why?

Zanon: Well, these past few years, and even these past few weeks, I know there’s GM’s out there that are willing to grossly overpay for mediocre talent, and make horrible decisions for their teams.

AU: Fair enough. Any places in particular you

Zanon: Well, the guys over in Philadelphia like to give guys a ridiculous amount of money for doing…not so much. And, their defense is horrible enough that I think I would fit right in.

AU: No disagreements here. So, say you get picked up by the Flyers, how do you think you can contribute to the team?

Zanon: Well, as I said, the Flyers have a history of bad defense, so if I could just go in there, play horribly, and let all the blame fall on the goalies, I’ll feel great about cashing my hard earned paychecks.

AU: Oh…kay. So let’s talk about your time with the Avs. Short, but sweet?

Zanon: Yea it was great I got along famously with the guys.

AU: Oh really? So you’re a good locker room guy?

Zanon: No not really. I just played so bad that whenever anyone else screwed up, they still looked good in comparison. The guys really appreciated that.

AU: Yea that sounds great. What else can you tell us about your time in Colorado?

Zanon: Well the entire management staff was just fantastic. Joe Sacco really helped the team chemistry but putting everybody in the locker room on the same level.

AU: Oh really? How so?

Zanon: Well, he was the coach. The bench boss. But we never felt like there was much separation.

AU: Because…?

Zanon: Well everyone in the room, including the 14 year old stick boy, knew just as much about coaching an NHL team than him.

AU: We don’t doubt that for a second. So how did feel getting bought out? Were you disappointed that the Avs no longer wanted your services?

Zanon: Well, I knew it was coming the moment Roy and Sakic got hired. When you have guys that actually know stuff about hockey, guys like me know their time is running out.

AU: True. But getting a nice chunk of your salary for doing nothing…that’s got to be nice!

Zanon: Guys….didn’t you watch any games last year? I got paid for doing nothing then too.

AU: Yea I guess so…so over the last few months the Avs have gotten rid of 3 defensemen. You, O’Byrne, and O’Brien. Why do you think you guys were the ones that were shown the door?

Zanon: Well me, ROB, and SOB share a lot of the same desirable traits. Bad mobility, horrible penalty killing position, horrible hockey sense, virtually no offense, and when the game is on the line, we can make the player’s bench look nice and full. We have a lot to offer.

AU: Alright that’s about enough for now. Good luck in your future with the NHL…or..AHL. Yea so, let us know how your 6 games in the KHL go.

Zanon: Thanks guys!

AU: And if you do play in the NHL next season, try not to resurrect the curse of the former Avs and score a lot of…ahh nevermind.