The 5 Worst Contracts On The Colorado Avalanche

In a salary cap, sign your young players, lock up your RFA’s, sign the best player available FAST on Free Agent day, type of hockey world that we live in, there is no shortage of a wide variety of contracts. You have the short term-prove-yourself-because-you-are-so-old-we-are-surprised-you-didn’t-fall-apart-during-your-PTO type contracts. There is the prove-yourself-because you-are-young-and-we-want-to-see-if-we-didn’t-waste-that-high-round-pick-on-you-instead-of-that-guy-who-is-playing-really-well-for-the-team-that-drafted-after-us type contract. There is the bridge deal. There is the long term, big money superstar contracts. There is the average money/average term for an average player contract. All types. But let’s focus on the fun contracts. The so bad, they will always be talked about type contracts. The Avs have a few of these, so enough blabber, let’s get to it. Note: These are not ranked 1-5. That would be a tedious, worthless thing to do. What’s the point? It’s like, why did that one teacher give you 83% on your essay rather than 84%? What magic algorithm did they use to come up with that number?

*By the way, we hope you appreciate the fact that we didn’t make this into a 6 slide type slideshow post for clicks. And that we didn’t name the article “You won’t believe what these NHL teams did to these players! WOW! Gary Bettman saw this and his jaw DROPPED!”

The Player: Maxime Noreau

Length: 2 years

Years left: 1 (current season)

Money: $625,000

If you’re thinking “how is a small deal like this for an AHLer considered the 5^th worst contract on the team?” then we only have a few sentences that should change your mind. Noreau was lured here from Europe, on what was most likely a recommendation by Matt Duchene, who played with Noreau during the last lockout. The bad part? Noreau was signed to a 1 way contract, meaning no matter where he plays, he is getting the full amount of money, and all of it counts against the cap. That is just silly. Noreau probably said he wasn’t coming over unless he was making full money, which is fair, but still. What a waste of money and cap space.

Player: Brad Stuart

Length: 3 years

Years left: 1 after this season

Money: $3.6M

If you clicked this article without this contract in mind, we would love to hear your top 5. Stuart came over in a trade for a 2^nd(!!!!!) and a 6^th round pick with San Jose. Then, before he even played 1 second with the Avs, in training camp or practice or anything, he was offered a whopping 3.6 million dollars. What a risk to take on an old D-man who was already on a huge downswing. Avs brass really messed this one up as one of their first deals. Even if Stuart played relatively well during his time here, which he hasn’t, it still would be an awful contract. The best thing he has done is get hurt. That created a chain reaction of giving Guenin more ice time, realizing Guenin is also bad, demoting/scratching Guenin, and giving the young guys a chance to play. How is Stuart going to fit into this team next year, and who is ever going to take his contract?

The Player: Carl Soderberg

Length: 5 years

Years left: 4 after this season

Money: $4.75M

Carl Soderberg is good. He is an effective member of the team that can play in many situations. He is not, however, 4.75 million dollars good. He is not “not even a million less than Landeskog” good. This contract was 3 things: Bring in a center to replace O’Reilly; Panic because O’Reilly is gone so overpay a player who has barely ever seen 2^nd line minutes; feel okay about overpaying as a kind of “haha” to O’Reilly. That last one is not confirmed, and many may disagree, but giving Soderberg this much money after letting a way better player walk may have ulterior motives in terms of sticking it to ROR. Bottom line: Soderberg has never scored more than 16 goals and is making star player money. He better turn into a 2-way dynamo and make us eat our words.

The Player: Hick Holden

Length: 3 years

Years left: 2 after this season

Money: $1.65M

The money? Fantastic for the mileage the Avs get out of Holden. The length: this is what make the contract one of the worst. Holden was brought in from Columbus while making 600K a year, and after a good year with the Avs (10 goals) he was given the new contract that kicked in at the beginning of this season. But what were the Avs thinking, signing him though 2018? With prospects out the rear end coming up (Siemens, Bigras, Geertson) and roster main stays (EJ, Barrie) did they destine Holden to the bottom pairing?

The Player: Tyson Barrie

Length: 2 years

Years left: 0 after this season (RFA)

Money: $2.6M

Barrie deals with the same people that dealt with Ryan O’Reilly and Ryan Johansen. Meaning they brainwash their players into a false sense of self-worth to the point where they fail to report to their jobs until they get the money they want. If every job was like this, the world would explode, but they are athletes. Entertainers. And some we are at their mercy. Anyways, the Avs would have been better off giving Barrie a long term deal at around 5-6 million dollars. Say a nice juicy 7 year, 42 million dollar deal. (6 Million per year for the mathematically challenged). We don’t need to type about why that would have been good. Instead, during the years where the Avs have all the cap space they could ever need, they sign him to a bridge deal. 2.6 million bucks, and the contract expires after Barrie has just enough time to show how good he is and how good he is going to be. Bottom line: You don’t bridge deal a sure thing. Isn’t that right PK Subban? Guaranteed, the Avs are going to be breaking their team set $6M personal cap in order to keep Barrie. So what will happen? There will be a nasty contract battle, Barrie will get signed, or not, and either way, a lot of players are going to resent Barrie’s financial decisions. Oh, and that stupid player agent company will be laughing all the way to the bank and there will be another lockout and owners will complain, almost rightfully so. Almost.

We hope you enjoyed the analysis of the Avs contracts and a special thanks to General Fanager for taking all of CapGeek’s stuff and putting it on a new platform. Just kidding, General Fanager is a life saver and the name is simple and clever. Agree? Disagree? @ us (it makes us feel like we matter) or comment below. You won’t comment. So just @ us.

The 5 Most Surprising Statistics This Season For The Colorado Avalanche

It is no secret that the Avs are off to a rough start. Constantly hovering around 26^th to, you know, dead last, has its perks however. These perks are looking at the player and team statistics and finding things that make you just shake your head. Well, we have saved you the grief of perusing through the statistics, and we have compiled the top 5 most surprising statistics so far this year on the Avs.

#5: Jack Skille – Skille’s start to the season, where he was the only one really trying his hardest, and he looked like he could be a secret offensive gem. But the offense stopped after the first few games. The statistical surprise: 21GP, 2G, 1A, 3PTS. Unfortunately he has also seen his playing time cut down, spending time on the 4^th line with Street, Everberg, and whoever else squeaks in the lineup.

#4: Face-off winning percentage. Remember when the Avs biggest problem was having too many top tier centers? MacKinnon, Duchene, O’Reilly, Stastny, and Hishon. Yes Hishon. He meant something once. Now 1 of those guys is in the minors and 2 are traded away. Our center depth is still decent. Duchene, Soderberg, MacKinnon, Grigorenko. But it isn’t helping. The Avs currently sit 29^th in the league (That’s second last for the late people reading) at 48.3 percent. It doesn’t just stop there. They are 28^th overall in even strength FOW percentage, and 1^st overall in faceoffs LOST while on the powerplay.

#3: Lack of offense from Tanguay. Yes he is injured now but let’s take a look at the 14 games he played: 2G, 4A. This is pretty shocking coming from the guy who scored 22 goals last year and was 3^rd on the team in points. Not to mention he was playing with the likes of Iginla, Landeskog, Duchene, and pretty much everyone with offensive talent. Hopefully he comes back rejuvenated and ready to start helping the team.

#2: Nathan MacKinnon’s 9 goals. Everybody expected MacKinnon to bounce back from his offensively disappointing season last year but this is great! MacKinnon has 9 goals just a quarter of the way through the year, which is just 5 away from his 14 tallies of last year. He is on pace for about 32 goals this year and he is really showing no signs of slowing down.

#1: Lack of scoring on defense. EJ can’t do it all. But he is. The other 8(!!!!) defensemen who have suited up for the Avs this year have combined for a putrid 3 goals. In a combined 105 games. Hm, seems like we’ve been down this roadbefore.

Honourable mentions: 8 wins in 21 games for the team, Duchene playing crazy right now, Varlamov’s less than stellar 3.05GAA and .894 sv%.

Other Reading: *Disclaimer - This is strictly for the readers. We don't get ad click revenue or any kind of revenue, so we're not trying to shamelessy plug our articles!

Patent Pending: They Do This So Much, They Might As Well Own Them

New All-Star Game Format: Who Makes it For The Avs? Other Teams?

Satirical eBay Listing Trolls Avs, Varlamov Over Game 1 Loss

Patent Pending: They Do This So Much, They Might As Well Own Them

We all know patents. If something is good enough, or if it your own idea or concept and everyone else is starting to get on the bandwagon, you slap your name on it, because by golly, you earned it. Well the same should be said for some things in hockey. Gretzky patented the behind the net deke and pass. Orr patented the diving through the air Stanley Cup goal. No one else has done it since. Not because they didn’t want to, but because they don’t want to pay the royalties. By the way, we misspelled Gretzky that first time and the spelling correction suggestion was Trotsky. Can we get a Canadian computer here? Anyways: Gordie Howe patented the elbowing penalty AND the Gordie Howe hat trick (Even though he only ever had 3 in his career) and Matt Cooke patented the phrase “I can change”. Given the less than spectacular start by the Avs, here are some of the things they do in any given hockey game that they need to get their name on…quick!

Patent Pending: The Logo Shot

You’ve all seen this. Whether it’s streaking down the wing, a cross ice pass, breakaway, or a point shot on a powerplay, the Avs always manage to hit the logo of whatever goalie is in net. Sometimes they miss, and the people in the hockey world call those “goals”. The Logo Shot is an epidemic among the Avs players so why not take official credit? We hear the Avs shooter tutor is just a plastic sheet over the open net with a small circular hole cut out of the middle. They score a lot of goals in practice.

Patent Pending: The Totally Inappropriate, Ill Timed, Unnecessary, Drop Pass

The name needs work, but that is what the marketing team is for. We’ve all seen this too. Whether it’s an own zone breakout, neutral zone invasion, powerplay zone entry, of in the slot scoring chance, the Avs love to drop the puck back to the guy behind them. We credit the Mighty Ducks movies for making this look cool. Damn you Emilio Estivez for the Flying V!

Patent Pending: The Own Zone Breakout Problems

3 guys can make a pass out of their own zone. Barrie, Beauchemin, Johnson. 4 guys cant. Gormley, Guenin, Holden, Stuart. And the majority of the time they’re all just so soft on their end of the blueline that it never even materializes. If anyone knows a wizard, can they get him to transform the Avs into 14 year old teenagers who eat fast food? They seem to have no problems with breakouts.

Patent Pending: The Powerplay Dump-In

Why dump it in to the waiting, ready, defender who is just going to clear it out? Carry it in!

Patent Pending: The Pulled Goalie Dump-In

See above scenario and change the situation to when the Avs pull their goalie for an extra attacker.

Patent Pending: The “Walk To The Penalty Box” Silence

Around the league, if penalties are taken, a lot of the time players will have a few word with the referees, generally disagreeing with the call, and voice this disagreement in a variety of terms and ways. Not the Avs. Save for the Capitals game, almost all of the Avs penalties have been stupid and blatant, which translates to a quiet, shameful waltz to the sin bin.

Patent Pending: Over Analyzing the “Good Things” they’ve done in a game.

The Avs could lose 16-2, go 2-4 on the powerplay and allow 0 PP goals in 5 chances. The reaction from players and coach: Well we thought our powerplay was great for us tonight and our penalty killing was superb. We need to work on winning some more 5-5 battles but we didn’t give up when it started to get bad. This means we have a good game and we don’t need a morning skate or hard practice. Let’s go for pizza and ice cream guys, good job!” You all know this isn’t an exaggeration. 

New All-Star Game Format: Who Makes it For The Avs? Other Teams?

The NHL All-Star game format changed for this year, as we are sure most of you know, perhaps for the better; perhaps the worse. Only time will tell. But instead we’re going to blindly speculate the 5 best and 5 worst things, potentially, about the all-star game even though we don’t know teams, it has never happened before, this is brand new, and we complained and hated the last All-Star games. Just kidding, those articles are pointless and every credited NHL writing team has done it because apparently there is nothing to write about anymore except speculation. Journalism is apparently dead.

So let’s talk about what we do know: a quick reminder about the important changes. 3 on 3; 4 teams, 1 from each conference; every team must be represented; 11 players per team, 6 forwards, 3 d-men, 2 goalies; the fans choose 1 player for each team, the NHL choses the other 10. That is all you need to know for the purpose of this post.

So, every team must be represented, and with 11 players per conference that doesn’t leave a lot of room for everyone that deserves to play. Add in the fact that the Central Division has some of the most electric and entertaining big name players in league, and we have a tough situation. So what does this mean for the Avs?

The player chosen by the fans will most likely be a Blackhawk, and if it isn’t it most likely won’t be a Colorado player. Uh oh, we’re speculating. Let’s look at the no brainers, sans Avs.

The probable players:

Toews - CHI

Kane - CHI

Tarasenko - STL

Seguin - DAL

Benn – DAL

Filip Forsberg – NSH

Parise – MIN

Wheeler - WPG

Shea Weber – NSH

Klingberg – DAL

Suter – MIN

Keith – CHI

Rinne – NSH

Dubnyk – MIN

Allen – STL

Here are the shoe ins for the ASG excluding Avs players. But wait. This is already way over the roster size. So let’s look at our options. Wheeler has to stay because he is Winnipeg’s only representative. Keith on defense probably won’t make it. All of the other players really deserve to be there, but we still need room for at least one Colorado player. Will the Avs be the only other team to only have 1 representative? 

You can count out a goalie spot. Berra will never make it and unless Varlamov plays out of his mind and racks up wins, he’s out. On defense, has Barrie played well enough to oust any of the 3 d-men left up there? No. Has Johnson? Not yet. So because of the competition, you can count out a defensive representative. But it gets very interesting at forward. As we see it right now, the Avs have only 2 worthy representatives. Iginla unfortunately doesn’t make the cut, and neither does Landeskog. But both MacKinnon and Duchene deserve to be there, and with Wheeler staying put, who gets ousted? If the Wild send Dubnyk and/or Suter, look for Parise to sit out, which is a crime even though we hate him. All of us. But there are still 6 forwards on that list so someone has to go home. You simply cannot deny the dynamic Stars duo, and Kane/Toews are a given. If Jake Allen isn’t selected as a goalie, Tarasenko has to attend, and if he is, maybe Forsberg sits out. This is all assuming (that thing we said we hated at the beginning of the post) that only 1 Avalanche player makes it, which will probably be the case given the competition. So who makes the team? We say MacKinnon should represent the Avs over Duchene based purely on the fact that he knows Sidney Crosby and that’s been publicized. And because he has had a better, more consistent year.

It is confusing trying to figure out who plays and who doesn’t, and the poor guys who have to pick the teams are going to lose out with the fans no matter what. Think of how many players on these teams that are left off the list: Steen, Seabrook, Crawford, Neal, Spezza, Shattenkirk, Josi, Byfuglien, Pietrangelo, Little, Sharp, and so on.

Of course, a player could get hurt, traded, or run into another obstacle that stops them from attending. A player could go ice cold, and another player could heat up. If John Klingberg cools off do we see Erik Johnson?

If you think this all means nothing because of the many variables, and this was a huge waste of time, you’re wrong. Because as it stands right now, the Avs are only getting representation by 1 player during the whole All-Star weekend. It just wouldn’t make any sense otherwise. So hopefully MacKinnon has a good time.

* Bonus Scenario: Avs freakishly run into injury problems: Duchene, Iginla, Tanguay, Varly, Landy, MacKinnon, EJ, Barrie, Soderberg, Beauchemin, all get hurt and the Avs send John Mitchell. Wouldn't that be something.

Our pick for the Central Division All-Star Team:

Forwards:

Benn – DAL

Seguin – DAL

Kane – CHI

Tarasenko – STL

MacKinnon – COL

Little – WPG

Defensemen:

Weber – NSH

Klingberg – DAL

Suter – MIN

Goalies:

Rinne – NSH

Allen – STL

Little finally gets the recognition he deserves, Dallas/Nashville sends 3, Toews doesn’t make it because he is streaky so far, and the Wild get 1 player. The only tossup is subbing Dubnyk for Allen.

Agree? Disagree?

Satirical eBay Listing Trolls Avs, Varlamov Over Game 1 Loss

It is no secret among the NHL and its fans that the Avs blew a big lead in their opener to the Wild. With games like that comes remarks and beaking from the opposition fan base, but after Colorado’s 5-4 loss to the Wild, someone took it up another notch in sticking it to the Avs.

This screenshot was taken from an actual eBay listing that surfaced yesterday, found here, poking fun at Semyon Varlamov for his god awful 3^rd period. Some funny/painful details: Item condition: Used/Washed up. The entire item description is a stick tap to the Avs 3^rd period. The fact that it is $1000 speaks to how strongly this hockey fan feels about the situation. Add over $160 for shipping international (don't worry fellow Americans, it's free within the US) and you have yourself an expensive piece of prop comedy that could outdo a sports themed version of Carrot Top.

 Upon further review of the listing, this satirical listing shouldn’t necessarily be attributed to the horrible Wild fans we all know and love, but instead to someone from Colorado, as the seller has serious listings for Denver Broncos swag. Knockoff counterfeit swag, but swag none the less.

So if this was an Avs fan, then this may be a comical way to blow off steam in regards to the pathetic home opener. And it if it a Wild fan, they are all awful and don’t have anything to show for in terms of actual overall NHL success. But either way, it’s pretty funny stuff.

Update: Somebody actually bid on this, and we're hoping it is just a friend of the eBay user to add to the joke. If someone is paying $1000 for this, then everyone reading this is on the wrong business. 

VIDEO: Some Brandon Gormley Highlights and Accolades.

The Avs traded Stefan Elliott to the Arizona Coyotes for D Brandon Gormley. If you’re reading this for the first time you’re doing life wrong. Like seriously. Our sources are other twitter accounts that you probably follow.

Gormley is a former 1^st round pick with a prestigious junior resume. He was a member of the QMJHL All Rookie team, 2 time QMJHL second team all-star, and has a bronze medal for Canada at the 2012 World Juniors. Gormley won the Mike Bossy trophy awarded to the best professional prospect in the QMJHL, in 2010 (Mikhail Grigorenko won this in 2012) and was on the Memorial Cup all-star team in 2012. Pretty impressive Junior resume, and even though his NHL career has seemed to hit a roadblock, his potential is still sky high. Gormley is only 23 years old. Gormley has 4 points in 32 career games and sounds like a Lord of the Rings character.

The stats and accolades are great to hear and all, but what is this guy like on and off the ice? Well, you came to the right place to find out. Below are other people’s YouTube videos that we’re putting on our page for your entertainment all in one convenient spot! So here are some highlights of the newest member of the Colorado Avalanche: 

Get excited Avs fans, this kid could be special.

An Untold Stefan Elliott Story: How He Betrayed The Junior Team That Drafted Him.

Stefan Elliott has seen his interesting, up and down run with the Colorado Avalanche come to an end. Elliott was a big defensive prospect for the Avs coming out of the draft, touted for his offensive talent and hidden defensive game. After 4 seasons with the Avalanche, where Elliott played only 63 regular season games and no playoff games because the Avs don’t believe in playoffs apparently. When Elliott was called up, he played an average game. He showed flashed of offensive brilliance and defensive prowess, as well as some defensive flaws. But, to quote the age old adage, defenseman take longer to develop. It is weird though, that even when he played well he seemed to not crack the coach’s lineup. Both Roy and Sacco. Was it Tyson Barrie’s rise to stardom that slowed him down in the depth chart? Did his development stall? Whatever the reason, he will be missed.

There is a dark undertone to Elliott, however. Here is a true story about one of Elliott’s past encounters with a Major Junior team.

The Prince George Cougars, a Major Junior hockey team out of the WHL, were a struggling franchise that was in the process of starting a rebuild. They managed to snag the 12^th overall pick in the Bantam Draft and used the pick on a promising young defenseman out of Vancouver in the BC Major Midget league. That pick was Stefan Elliott.

This situation was golden for Elliott. Here he is drafted by a team with a young, inexperienced defense aside from Dustin Byfuglien, which screams ice time and opportunity. But what Elliott did, with the help from his parents, was inexcusable to the Prince George hockey fans.

Elliott refused to report to the team’s training camp the following year and refused to play a single game for them. Can you feel the Eric Lindros vibe? Elliott claimed his reasons were the plight of the Cougars franchise, and the long travel hours. (The Cougars roughly have the longest travel schedule of any WHL team as they are the northern most team, 6 hours away from any away game. On the bus. Oh junior hockey.) He also cited the city itself as not being a desirable place to live. Any other Bantam player should have jumped at an opportunity for tons of ice time, and even a place to play in Major Junior, the top junior competition in Canada, and arguably the world. This forced the Cougars to trade a top notch prospect to the Saskatoon (oh Canadian City names) Blades. Yea, they got Devin Setoguchi out of the deal, but he only played 1 season for the Cougars, while the Blades got 4 years out of Elliott, stellar defensive play, and a few deep playoff runs and a first place finish.

Bottom line: He disappointed the fans of Prince George, crapped on the city and team, and set back their rebuild by more than a few seasons.

He will be missed though, and it is very unfortunate he never lived up to his potential. Good luck in the desert and then Seattle.

By the way we had too look up what the correct spelling of desert. The English language sucks sometimes. And we got it wrong the first time.