Here is the Altitude TV’s feed of Danny Briere’s buzzer beating goal against the Boston Bruins to give the Avs their first win of the year. The goal was also Briere’s 300th career goal. Just in case you missed that on Twitter 700 times.
Our only analysis; Mike Haynes, you are the greatest.
You may remember our Name Game post from a few
seasons ago, and if you don’t, you can find it here. Well, it has been a few
seasons, many players have come and gone since then, so let’s do it all over
again.
Hockey players are celebrities, so for this rendition
we thought it wise to examine their lives if they were in a different field of
being “famous”.
On
TV and in the Movies
The Fresh Prince of Briere – Briere plays a
misjudged kid from Philadelphia looking to make fresh start in a new city.
Stuart Little – Orphaned from San Jose after the
emergence of Vlasic, this harrowing tale speaks of Stuart’s perseverance and
willingness to phase out completely in Denver.
Bernstein Berra – Reto Berra plays a huge mammoth of
an animal that can’t seem to do much of anything unless he gets a ton of help
and guidance from a much wiser Papa Bear (Patrick Roy).
John-Sons of Anarchy – Erik Johnson leads a rag tag,
rough and tough golf cart gang of 1st overall pick busts against
rivals gangs like the Bryz lats, Devil’s trib, and Cala-varlys.
Max and Redy – Talbot and Zach Redmond act in a kids
TV show raising awareness for sharp objects and trying to avoid getting them
logged in your upper thigh.
Keeping Up With The Pickardians – After a leaked
highlight video from Lake Erie, Pickard is thrown into stardom as a camera crew
follows him and his family around to various meal outings, workout sessions,
and practices, as well fully documenting the drama of who unscrewed his water
bottle lid at the morning skate.
Elliott Moose – An inspiring story about a young
NHLer and his zany adventures with friends.
The Landeskog Before Time – Gabe and his friends Dutchy,
Berra, and Street-tree, (Ducky, Sarah, Petree) engage in various shenanigans
around the Pepsi center.
In
Music:
Iggy Smalls – The Notorious IGG and his crew
Mac-Daddy Mackinnon and DJ Ago-Z bust some serious rhymes in his début album
“Ig Pappa”.
Freak On a Cliché – A song about the 4th
liner’s love of corn. (See what we did there?)
When You Hish upon a star – A touching ballad outlining
Hishon’s wish to stay healthy and make it big in the NHL.
Do You O’Reilly Want To Hurt Me? – A song sung by
Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy, outlining the painful contract dispute with Ryan
O’Reilly.
How Borda-low Can You Go? – Big Bad Bordy drops it
like its hawt in this new hit single/music video.
Hejda’s Gonna Hate – A chilling rap song that pumps
the ego of the Avs best defensive defenceman.
In
Other Fields:
The Ford Mustanguay – A car that, no matter how old it
gets, can go from 0-60 in 5 seconds.
Brew-chene’s – A do-it-yourself beer making
infomercial.
There has been lots of speculation over Twitter,
forum sites, ect that the Avs may be getting new jerseys pretty soon. The Avs
have since confirmed this is not the case, but that hasn’t stopped people from
debating about current jerseys, past jerseys, and future jerseys. Many people
like the newer EDGE style Avs jerseys, while some have pined to bring back the
old style (95-07). Some fans hate the blueberry thirds while others think they
should become the new home jerseys. Some fans hate the piping along the jersey,
saying that the team should abandon the look as they are the last team in the
league, after Edmonton, Florida, and so on have since ditched their piping.
This post is made with the intent to show all the fans, lovers and haters
alike, what the Avs jerseys would look like without the piping. (Click on the image for a larger view)
Our opinion, and its Unanimous, just like us, is that the jerseys look just awful without the piping. They look plain and don’t blend together as well. The lack of silver/black (home)and blue/silver (away)leave the Avs with a two-toned jersey that is boring and lacks any tying in of the burgundy and blue. Yes, Landy’s C wouldn’t look so bad, but…blah. Our thoughts: If the Avs were to ever get rid of the piping, they would need a complete overhaul on the design…but more on that later. _________________________________________________________________________________ Other Posts:
The NHL Awards are over so now it’s time for the 2nd
annual Colorado Avalanche Academy Awards! The first installment can be found
here. We’re adding a few more awards and honours this year so prepared be even
more mildly entertained than you were last year.
So let’s get started!
Best
Picture: Nominees – Gabe Landeskog, Ryan O’Reilly, Erik
Johnson
Winner:
Erik Johnson. Gabe Landeskog, the dashingly good looking Swede that has every
man questioning their sexuality, was in the running for back to back victories,
but who can deny Johnson of these blond flowing locks and glowing excited
smiles? Wow, we sound like Pierre McGuire describing every NHL draft prospect. That
can’t be good. Moving on.
Best
Visual Effects: Nominees – PA Parenteau, Nathan
MacKinnon, Semyon Varlamov
Winner:
Nathan
MacKinnon. Parenteau almost won for making non-offsides look like offsides, but
we have to give this one to MacKinnon. His ability to create streaking marks on
our TV sets, and the way his legs look like roadrunners when he’s skating down
ice is uncanny! That’s some hardcore CGI right there. The new Transformers
movie could have used some of his expertise.
Best
Disappearing Act: Nominees - PA Parenteau, Corey Sarich,
Semyon Varlamov.
Winner:
PA
Parenteau. The new Habs forward wins this award, his last with the Avs. Sarich
almost won it for his ability to never be seen again after the first half of
the season, and Varly was a close 3rd for being able to make pucks
just vanish from thin air, but alas, Parenteau’s ability to disappear on the
powerplay, on the back check, an in pretty much any offensive situation lands
him the prestigious award. He must be so proud. Good luck Montreal!
Best
Original Score: Nominees-Nathan
MacKinnon, Patrick Bordaleau, Gabe Landeskog
Winner:
Gabe
Landeskog, with this beauty.
MacKinnon’s goal that broke Jared Spurgeon’s ankles
was a nominee, and any Bordaleau goal is a nomination because he hardly ever
scores. But we all remember the tic tac toe goal in game 2 against the Wild and
that is something you don’t see every day. Enjoy the visuals!
Best
Outbreak Performance: Nominees – Nathan MacKinnon,
Patrick Roy, Joey Hishon
Winner:
Patrick
Roy. Bruce Boudreau and the Anaheim Ducks got to see this outbreak performance
first hand. Remember the between the benches incident? It can he found here.
That is a clear cut winner. What a great outbreak performance in his outbreak
game. Joey Hishon’s strong playoff
performance, and MacKinnon’s entire rookie season were strong runners up.
Best
Actor: Nominees – Nate Guenin, Ryan O’Reilly, Matt Hunwick.
Winner:
Ryan
O’Reilly. Guenin and Hunwick were nominated for their ability to act like they
actually belong in the NHL when they, in fact, do not. But the Oscar goes to
Ryan O’Reilly for being able to act, for a whole season, that he cares about
this team more than he cares about his paycheck. Great performance!
Best
Script: Nominees – Semyon Varlamov’s girlfriend for
fabricating that ridiculous assault charge, Patrick Roy’s Jack Adams rookie
season, The Avs turnaround.
Winner:
Semyon
Varlamov’s girlfriend for fabricating that ridiculous assault charge. Because
she was a money hungry liar. You can pick up the Oscar on all the modelling
sets that people aren’t going to call you to because you’re a joke.
Best
Director: Nominees –
Patrick Roy, Joe Sakic, Greg Sherman.
Greg Sherman was nominated because of the solid
offseason moves and excellent roster transactions he has performed during the season.
Oh, he just balanced the chequebooks? He didn’t really do anything except
accepting a paycheck? Wow, who is he, Rick DiPietro? But alas, the winner is
Patrick Roy. Jack Adams. Great coach. Enough said.
Enough with the awards. Here are some honours to
hand out.
Most
Likely to be a Healthy Scratch: Nominees – Stefan Elliott,
Paul Carey, Ryan Wilson.
Winner:
Ryan
Wilson. Because Patrick Roy hates him. Just trade him already!
Most
Likely To Be Traded At The Deadline: Nominees – Nate Guenin,
Cody McLeod, Jamie McGinn.
Winner:
Cody
McLeod. Teams are going to want a guy like McLeod heading into the playoffs.
The other two have a good chance too.
Most
Likely to Score a Ton of Goals Against The Avs: Nominees
– Paul Stastny, Kevin Porter, Radim Vrbata.
Winner:
Radim
Vrbata. He always does. Paul Stastny won’t be scoring any goals against the
Avs, especially if he gets the majority of defensive zone starts, AND because
the Avs are going to be too busy lighting up the Blues awful goaltending and
porous defense. 7 million dollars? Ha!
Well, as many have speculated, Nathan MacKinnon has
won the Calder Memorial Trophy as the NHL’s rookie of the year. Kudos to Ondrej
Palat and Tyler Johnson on their nominees, but lets be serious. Was there any
doubt Nathan MacKinnon would win the award? Let’s take a look at the stats:
Goals
Assists
Points
MacKinnon
24
39
63
Palat
23
36
59
Johnson
24
26
50
Check it out. We used a table. Stick tap to my mom’s
boss who showed us how to do that on Microsoft Word 2003.
So the stats tell this kind of story: MacKinnon isn’t
a runaway points wise. The goals are as even as they can be, and apart from Johnson’s
lack of comparable assists, the points are pretty even as well. So let’s look a
little deeper into the situation: MacKinnon’s corsi and fenwick are just so
much be-…..just kidding we hate advanced stats.
But look at the way these players have played. Palat
had a horrible start, points wise, to his season. It took until December 10th
for him to score his 5th goal of the season. Granted, at this point
in the season he was mostly being used as a 3rd/4th line
guy. But the Calder trophy isn’t an award for best January-April. Sorry Palat,
but your new contract extension should cheer you up.
Tyler Johnson. You scored a Hattrick against the
Avs. So that’s why you lost. Now go sit in the corner and think about what you
did.
Ok fine. Apart from that, Johnson was pretty inconsistent
throughout the year. He went through long scoring droughts, even though he was consistently
getting over 17 minutes a game, playing on the top line at time and with Steven
Stamkos. Come on Johnson, you’re 5’9. You should be more like Martin St. Louis.
Yea, it’s that easy.
So, you’re welcome for that expert analysis. Look
out Mike Milbury and Jeremy Roenick, we’re coming for you.
By
far the worst trio to be picked for the Hart in a long time. None of these guys
really deserve it but we’ll give it to Crosby.
Vezina: Nominees: Bishop, Rask, Varlamov
Winner:
Varlamov
Varly all the way on this one, and not because we’re
biased. Rask played behind a great defense and awesome team, and Bishop had a
good year but people seem to confuse breakout seasons with a Vezina worthy
campaign. Varly played with a not so strong defense and was a HUGE reason the
Avs finished third in the league.
Norris
– Nominees: Chara, Keith, Weber
Winner:
Chara
Weber
didn’t do enough to help his team be successful. Keith got ot play with a great
defensive forward corps, and Chara is getting old and is still absolutely
unbeatable.
Calder:
Nominees: Johnson, Palat, MacKinnon
Winner:MacKinnon
Again,
no bias here. Johnson was good this year as demonstrated in his games versus
the Avs. Palat was OK but nothing special. MacKinnon was an explosive game
changer that could make the difference between 2 points and a loss. The
Lightning pair were just to overshadowed and under exposed for us to give them
the nod, and we think the same will go for the voters of this trophy.
Lady
Byng: Nominees: Marleau, O’Reilly, St. Louis
Winner:
Marleau
The
sportsmanship award. St. Louis requesting a trade because he was left off team
Canada. O’Reilly is being a greedy little snob. And Marleau is who is left.
Congrats.
Jack
Adams: Nominees: Babcock, Cooper, Roy
Winner:
Roy
Again,
NO BIAS. Babcock coached his team to a solid limp into the playoffs. Why is he
here? Why not Therrien or Boudreau? Cooper has done a great job in Tampa Bay
even though they missed the playoffs. But Roy turned a 29th overall
team into a 3rd place team, and you can’t just credit that too the
players starting to develop. Roy’s new system and demeanor with the players
snags him the first of many Jack Adams awards.
Selke:
Nominees: Bergeron, Kopitar, Toews
Winner:
Bergeron
Toews
was a close 2nd in our books and Kopitar was a far away third. But
Bergeron takes the cake as the best 2-way man in the league.
Bill
Masterton: Nominees: Jagr, Malhotra, Moore
Winner:
Malhotra
Malhotra
suffered that eye injury and many thought his career was over. But after successful
rehab and a stint with the Charlotte Checkers has him back in the big leagues.
Jagr is just old and defected to the KHL for a bit. Moore is a close 2nd.
These
next awards are kind of…well, pointless, so we’ll just give a quick rundown.
Mark
Messier Leadership: Nominees: Brown, Getzlaf, Toews
Winner:
Toews. Duh.
NHL
Foundation Player Award: Nominees: Bergeron, Burns, Keith
Winner:
Burns
GM Of
The Year: Nominees: Bergevin, Lombardi, Murray
Winner:
Bergevin. Murray with those
Perry/Getzlaf contracts…LOL.
Off the top of your head, what do you think is the
greatest draft in Avalanche history? Is it the 2001 draft where they got Budaj,
McCormick, and Svatos? The 2005 draft where they picked Hensick, Cumiskey,
Stastny, and Stoa?
No.
This would have been a much harder task had it not
been for the Avs recent debauchery from 2009-2012 where they got all those high
picks in the draft. So, according to us, and we hold some pretty big clout in
the Avs community (we were once mentioned by a casual fan during an Avs
practice, so that’s a pretty big deal) the best draft in Colorado Avalanche
history is the 2009 NHL Entry Draft. We’ve outlined the top 5 draft busts, but let’s focus on the positive for a short while. Let’s take a look at the players:
(Stick tap to
AvalancheDB . Go there. Best site on the internet)
That is just money in the bag. Matt Duchene 3rd
overall. Duchene is one of the leaders on this club and arguably the best
player. Despite some injuries, he can be counted on for almost a point per
game. His blistering speed and totally ungreedy money hungry attitude makes him
a little bit more valuable and respectable than the next player drafted.
Ryan O’Reilly, all joking and contract disputes
aside, is probably the best 2nd round draft pick in recent memory.
Everyone knows about his heart and work ethic as well as his two way play. In a
first round that featured Zack Kassian, Magnus Paajarvi, Louis Leblanc, Jacob
Josefson, and Philippe Paradis, most teams will be kicking themselves for not
locking this dynamo down. He made the Avs right out of training camp, unheard
of for someone taken in the 2nd round. Now let’s hope the Avs can
lock him for a decent prize and for a long time. Fun Fact: Carl Klingberg,
Joonas Nattinen, and Scot Glennie were all ranked a lot higher than O’Reilly by
Central Scouting.
At this point, with these two players, this could
already be considered the best draft for the Avs. But just like every slap
chop, mighty putty, and Sham-Wow commercial, wait! There’s More!
Enter Stefan Elliott. He has not been as great for
the Avs as some people would have hoped, but in his last few showings, as well
as down in Lake Erie, Elliott has really developed into a strong young
defenseman. Look for him to be a 2nd/3rd pairing dman on the
Avs in the next couple years. Elliott is a nice little pick at 49th
overall.
Enter newest NHL stud and Matt Cooke’s best friend
Tyson Barrie. Anyone who watched an Avs game this year knows that his solid
puck moving, OT loving, defenseman is going to be great, as long as players
stay away from his MCL’s. Scratched frequently/minor league bound at the beginning
of the year, Barrie found his confidence and gained Coach Roy’s trust and this
allowed him to blossom into one of the great young defenseman in the NHL.
Out of all the bad that Avs management was doing in
2009, this draft was one saving grace for the scrubs who ran this team. The
rest of the draft featured the usual late round busts in Keiran Millan, Gus
Young, and Brandon Maxwell, but that’s ok because as of right now, the first 4
players the Avs selected are still with the team, and they’re still going.
So if you think we’re wrong and there is a better
draft in Avs history (Not Nordiques) we’d love for youto tell us why!
