The Douchebag's Guide To "Trolling" NHL Players

First and foremost: DO NOT try to troll Dany Heatley using his tragic car crash as a means to get under his skin. That would be just awful for everyone involved in this sport.

Anyways…

Most everyone is aware of the “wife beater” heckles and the infamous photo of the Wild fans who brought photos of Varlamov in court for his run in with the law earlier this season.

Some of you also probably know that Puck Daddy’s Greg Wyshysnki’s blogged about this as “cold” but fair trolling. A few people over Twitter, ourselves included, voiced displeasure to Puck Daddy, saying that this sort of “trolling” should be kept out of the game, comparing it to Heatley’s tragic accident. In our opinion the comparison is fair, as it is a personal attack on an event that is very prominent and unfortunate in our world: irresponsible vehicular homicide, and abuse, whether it be on a woman, man, or child. So here is what we’ve gotten from some people in the hockey world: poking fun at abuse is okay, funny, and acceptable. Even if it didn’t happen. Okay, you’ll never see us doing this, but good to know. This is the last you’ll hear from us on the matter.

But to all the douchebag NHL fans who like to make fun of players and crimes they commit, no matter how classless and pathetic it makes them look as hockey fans and human beings in general, here are some more signs and pictures you can print off to “troll” NHL players who have had to deal with serious hardships, stress, guilt, regret, lost friends, lost endorsements, tattered reputation, and overall hellish turmoil. Because it’s “funny”.

Ryan Malone: arrested on cocaine possession, DUI

Patrick Kane and Brett Sutter: both beat up cabbies (Add mugshots for all, of course)









 Jeff Skinner: Because he is referred to as "hockey-Bieber" (This one was just for fun)

Chris Nilan: shoplifted 

Kevin Stevens: Caught with prostitute and crack

Potential sign: "Sorry to hear your marriage is 'on the rocks'".

Bob Probert: Caught with coke in his underwear

 

Potential sign: "Probert's cocaine is under there! Under wear?"

A few we don't want to add pictures to:

Joe Corvo: grabbed a woman's rear and beat her up

Mark Hardy: Drunkenly got friendly with his daughter

All of these examples are harsh and perhaps a bit risky to put in writing/pictures. But the fact and principle remains the same. No matter the severity, it isn't funny, and any fan caught "trolling" players by means such as this should be hastily removed from NHL rinks. If you were at all offended by this post, good. Now you know how these employees of the NHL feel when pathetic fans bring their personal lives into the rink. No room for it. Bring Matt Cooke back for game 7 before you allow this in a rink. 

Do you dislike an NHL player, and want to get under his skin but you don't see him on this list? Well the fun doesn't stop here. Just find some personal event that made their lives hell for a period of time and had them most likely on the verge of giving up. Put a representation of the event on a sign or picture, and be sure he gets a really good look at it, JUST to remind him that the thing he did, that he THOUGHT  he persevered over, and overcame the gut wrenching stress of, in fact will never go away, just as long as there are pathetic fans in the world like you to remind him. 

Any anyone who advocates this as "fun" and "fair", shame. 

Oh and if you think this is an overreaction, we'd love to hear why in the comments. As always, thanks for reading, and keep it classy Avs fans!